Retired social worker Jack Kammer (MaleFriendly Media) joins me to separate real men’s issues from the manosphere circus—and map a sane path forward.
Most conversations about men mistake the pyramid for the whole picture. Yes, a few at the top feast—but millions grind at the bottom. In this episode, retired social worker Jack Cameron and I dismantle lazy patriarchy takes, unpack mating market math (power laws, hypergamy, real options vs imagined ones), and contrast male hierarchy with the female network—a “heart-centered” power structure that’s present but hard to see. We trace how wealth-induced social isolation (sprawl, cars, planned hangouts) erodes trust, why “work-life balance” collapses under the burden of performance, and how honesty about desire, capacity, and family roles beats quota-based fantasies. The fix isn’t rage—it’s community at Dunbar scale, merit with compassion, and finishing the other half of the gender-role revolution: giving men social permission for relationship labor, not just income labor. No villains. Just truth, trade-offs, and a way to rebuild.
TL;DR
Apex fallacy: don’t judge men by the 0.1%—see the “Misfortune Five Million.”
Two power systems: men = visible hierarchy; women = diffuse heart-centered network.
Isolation tax: the McMansion dream kills accidental community—connection needs proximity.
Work is not separate from life: entrepreneurs blur lines; corporate men carry the performance burden.
Real reform: finish the 1960s shift—normalize men taking relationship/care roles without penalty.
Strategy > slogans: meritocracy plus flexibility; transparency about intentions in dating and at work.
Memorable lines
“Don’t look at the Fortune 500—look at the Misfortune Five Million.”
“The female power structure isn’t a skyscraper; it’s a campus with a heart at the center.”
“Community isn’t a social program; it’s your neighbors knocking for Friday pizza.”
Guest
Jack Kammer — Retired social worker focused on the social issues of men and boys; founder of MaleFriendly Media.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/malefriendlymedia/
https://www.malefriendlymedia.com/
Why this matters
If you want stronger men, healthier women, and better kids, stop arguing abstractions and design for reality: smaller, closer communities; honest courtship; flexible pathways for fathers; merit with compassion at work.
Call to Action
If this hit—don’t scroll past it. Take the Second Life Leader Quiz to see where you’re powerful, where you’re blocked, and what to do next: leaderquiz.app. Then share this with one man who’s rebuilding.
